By “high”, I mean happy.  

Even when we are absolutely torn to shreds inside, not sure if we even want to exist anymore and people enthusiastically greet us with, “Hi ______, how are you?”  We say instinctively, “I’m good. How are you?”   

Our tone of voice and smile with our response has been perfected by now.  It’s foolproof.  

Sure, there are others who respond by being foolishly truthful and therefore “difficult” and they go on about how terrible they are feeling or sad or devastated over a loss of some sort and guess what happens next?  The person who was initially so genuinely interested in your welfare quickly excuses themselves from your presence after saying a very phony and insincere, “Oh, I’m so sorry.  You take care.”  “Hang in there,” they may shout once at a safe distance.

I am an honest person except for when I’m dealing with those depths and levels of anguish that others can’t-or don’t want to-handle.  I know many of you know what I mean.

There is a verse in the bible that says we should not “cast our pearls before swine”.  To me, that means a couple different things.  One, don’t waste something so dear, so precious and so meaningful on someone you know is not going to give a flying f**k, and two, don’t share, not ever, the pain that goes far deeper than the bottom of the ocean of your heart.  Don’t do it.  It’s not wise and we are to guard our hearts above all else.

People aren’t necessarily mean or all so callous, they just have their own lives to live and if their lives are going great and perfect and they’re getting married or are married or have a fantastic partner and a great house together and both have phenomenal incomes and sexy cars……then why on earth would they make time for you when you don’t have what they have?  Get it now?  Keep your shit to yourself.

Shower every day, comb your hair, remain constant on that “Life Is Good” theme and all will be well with you until you eventually pull yourself up out of that funk.  That’s right, you have to pull yourself out of it because no one else is going to help you.  Not for free anyway.

If you really need to talk to someone you can trust, there are plenty of therapists you could waste your money on with major issues of their own, but I think it’s best to go home and pet the dog or cat.  Now that is where your genuine love is going to come from.  Thank God for our pets.  God knew what he was doing when he had Noah make that Ark so all our pets could be saved.  I think even God likes animals better than people.  Thousands of animals on that Ark, but only 8 people.  I rest my case.

One last thing, and this is pretty cool.  When depressed people pass other depressed people on the street who are also “incognito”, we recognize and know each other.  And we are there for each other.  We can give that knowing, genuine smile, which to me is also the same as a very heart-felt hug, and honestly, there is no better feeling than that.  We just made someone’s day who needed us to make their day and who needed us to let them know that yes, you should stick around a little longer because you are going to make it

Yes, you are going to make it.

About jeanneassam

Law Enforcement Professional/Author of "God, the Gunman and me"


  1. I know all to well..I lost my youngest brother to suicide 3/13/12 he was 38. He was like a son to me, a brother and a Best friend. People don’t wanna know The”true feelings” u are going thru..they want to hear u are alive and well and moving on. Well it sucks..God got me thru the hardest, most tragic time of my life.Sure people cared and still do Llfe is hard..but no matter what I will always be REAL..I died the day I lost him..and only God could restore me. I live a positive life..my life has been hard since birth. I live to make others smile..and when i do..I smile! Thank you for posting..I am “HIGH” on life..by God’s grace. <3

    • I’m very sorry about your brother, Lena. No words can provide the comfort your heart needs after such a tragic loss.
      I’m so glad God restored you. I know you are a very bright light in the life of every person’s path you cross.

  2. I learned a long time ago that most people who say “how are you” consider this to be just a friendly greeting. They will accept “hello” in response because it answers the question they were really asking.
    I have met a few people who will not accept “OK” as a response. I get “just OK?” because they are demanding something like “really great”. Such people are annoying because I am seldom doing all that spectacularly well, although OK is usually an accurate description and really indicates a satisfactory status. In case they really want to know and are willing to accept an honest answer.

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