Watched a new movie on HBO last night called “True Detective”. It’s interesting how these two detectives become so emotionally involved-and messed up because of the very dark things they see.

What bothers me the most is how men are consistently portrayed as if they are unemotional and unaffected by things.  Truth be told, they are as equally emotional as women.  Emotions are not gender specific.  We all have them.  Some, both men and women, simply display their emotions more than others.

We who have seen much death, either as police officers or as soldiers, handle witnessing death in various and unique ways.  Some literally cannot handle it and fall apart mentally.  Guess what?  That’s okay.  Others, like me, can handle it because we knew it was either them, the bad guy, or us.  Fact is, some people who do bad things must die.  Not a good thing, but definitely a necessary thing.

I know from experience that after some officers get involved in shootings-even when they don’t kill the bad guy like I did-they fall apart.  They can’t handle the fact that they’ve ended a life.  Many can’t even handle that they merely had to shoot a bad guy and didn’t  kill him.  They knew, going into the career of a cop, that they may have to take a life.

It’s very interesting when I ask civilians who want to carry a concealed weapon if they could end a person’s life.  They actually have to stop and think.  They haven’t even thought about that part.  I was taught as a police officer not to ever even take my gun out of the holster unless it was literally a life or death situation.  That means one of us is about to die unless the one making the wrong choice that day suddenly decides to make the right one and drop their weapon.

It’s interesting how Hollywood portrays in movies over and over how brave and “deep” and courageous male cops and soldiers are.  Very rarely do they portray a female this way.   And these men are so deep that the world cannot begin to understand the depth of pain they’re going through.   Hollywood refuses to acknowledge that an equal amount of female soldiers and those of us in law enforcement have also seen dark things that only God and Satan witness with us.  And we in law enforcement and in battle all know what horrific violence looks like.  Gender plays no roll in pain-or in what our eyes see.  How we process what we see lies in each of us, individually.

God forbid we have any movies made about how resilient and brave women also are.  What would happen if the world “discovered” that women are as tough as men?   What would Hollywood make movies about then?  They would simply continue making movies about how dumb, flaky, flighty, and neurotic women are.

Men and women were created as equals and we were created to compliment each other, not for men to put women down and “reign over them” as many male pastors of some churches teach.  I am certain those who do teach that will answer to God for planting blatant lies in the minds of their congregations.

There is no Jew nor Greek, nor male nor female.

We are all spirits in a body.


About jeanneassam

Law Enforcement Professional/Author of "God, the Gunman and me"


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